We’re all really into comfort food these days, but it’s probably not the best idea to name our children to suit our appetites. That is definitely not one mother meant to do when she named her daughter nine weeks ago, and when her family members pointed out that her name sounds exactly like “Lasagna,” she stopped speaking to them. Now she’s wondering if her baby girl is destined for teasing if she keeps her name as is.
Before the birth of their first daughter, the woman and her husband chose the name Elizabeth Jane. But then her husband’s mother died, and they agreed to change her middle name.
“My husband and his family were touched and agreed, so our daughter became Elizabeth Anya Jane Last-Name,” namedmydaughterpasta wrote on Reddit this week. Shortly after she was born, they started calling their baby Liz. It wasn’t until they started socially distanced family Skype sessions that the new mom’s sister pointed out her inadvertently funny nickname.
“I hadn’t made the mental connection, but if you put her first and second names together, ‘Liz Anya,’ it really does make ‘lasagna,’ ” she admitted.
If this situation sounds familiar, it might be because it’s very similar to the reason Amy Schumer just changed her son Gene’s middle name from Atell to David. She hadn’t realized until others point it out to her that Gene Atell sounds awfully close to “genital.”
“I’m scared that when she eventually starts school, her classmates and others will latch onto this and make fun of her. I mean, the teasing has already started amongst my family. I have asked them to stop because one day Liz will know they’re making fun of her and she’ll be hurt. My sister told me if I didn’t want people to make fun of her name then I shouldn’t have named her what I did.”
Namedmydaughterpasta took to the AmItheAsshole Subreddit to ask if she’s being unreasonable for not Skyping with their family until they stop.
The comment thread that follows her query ranges from sympathetic to comic. One reader suggested changing the family’s last name to Garfield. Many shared the much sillier names they’ve encountered through the years (and really, none can beat the recent Sanitiser, Covid, and Corona!).
A few added that kids can be cruel to each other no matter what their names are.
“My name is Lorelei, a perfectly fine name, and you would not BELIEVE the range of insults kids pulled out of it,” lolabaloo wrote. “I heard SO many. My point is, if kids wanna pick on your kid, it doesn’t matter WHAT you name her. They’ll find something. Just do what you can to teach her how valuable she is, she’ll love you for it. Also your family are childish assholes.”
We agree on both counts. And also with this reader’s take:
“My cousin’s childhood nickname was Macaroni (Makenzie Veronica = Mac Ronnie = Macaroni),” LadySmuag shared. “She loved being called that because, according to her, she loved macaroni and cheese, and we loved her so ‘it just made sense.’ It could be that if it’s coming from a place of love and affection your kid might actually like being called Lasagna. Stranger things have happened.”
Regardless of this possibly positive outcome, namedmydaughterpasta eventually edited her post to say she and her husband had decided to change their daughter’s name.
“Elizabeth Jane Anya doesn’t have the flow I like but I’d rather have a bad flow than a bad nickname in future,” she said.
Now, if you excuse us, we’re going to look up some new lasagna recipes.
These celebrities didn’t worry about teasing when they named their babies.
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