Kara Keough Bosworth is marking what would've been her late son McCoy Casey's 4-month birthday.
In a heartbreaking Instagram tribute, the grieving mom — who lost her and husband Kyle Bosworth's baby boy in April after he experienced "shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord" during his birth — shared a black-and-white photo of her holding her son's hand and kissing his head, imagining in the accompanying caption what McCoy would be like today.
"We'd be seeing the Real McCoy by now, the face we could look back on later and say 'Oh, see, right here, that's when he starts looking like Mack,' " begins Keough Bosworth, 31, in her Thursday post. "Instead, every bulky blonde boy I see is you. That's just one of the million cuts of losing you so soon, I'm forced to imagine the faces of your stolen future."
Other parts of experiencing McCoy's babyhood that she will miss include "your first gummy smile," "the sound of your voice, like the roar of the ocean in a seashell," "the paler folds of your sun-kissed and chubby wrists" and "the curls bouncing on your two year old head, cut short."
"It’s all a blur now, all the ways you could have been you," Keough Bosworth continues. "You in your wedding day suit, dancing with me to a song we picked together … that's all just a dream."
Kara Keough Bosworth Posts Heartbreaking Tribute to Late Son: "You Would Have Been 2 Months Old Today"
"And that's what you're starting to feel like now — a dream," she adds. "Did this really happen? Did we ever really have you at all? The answer is a resounding yes, of course. And we always will."
Keough Bosworth says her baby boy's name "is our new 'Hallelujah!' " in that "every time the world gives us something beautiful, we shout your name."
"A butterfly floating in our periphery, 'McCoy!' Rows of lavender in unexpected places, McCoy! A rainbow over our house, McCoy! A pod of dolphins on the horizon, McCoy! A warm breeze, McCoy! Lillian's last round of chemo treatments, McCoy! A pregnant friend, McCoy!" she says.
"And (so slowly) finding our joy among our pain — McCoy! We see you, baby. We love the way you're showing up for us and opening our eyes to the beauty all around us. We'll be seeing you again some day, McCoy(!)," Keough Bosworth concludes.
Keough Bosworth, who is the daughter of Real Housewives of Orange County star Jeana Keough, delivered McCoy during a home birth on April 6. She had originally planned to welcome her and Bosworth's second child at a hospital, like they had for their now-4½-year-old daughter Decker Kate.
Amid the ongoing coronavirus crisis, however, they decided a home birth made more sense for their family, as Keough Bosworth could have her doula by her side.
"McCoy surprised us all with his size and strength (and overall perfection)," Keough Bosworth shared on the day of his birth. "He joined our Heavenly Father and will live forever in the hearts of his loving parents, his adoring sister, and those that received his life-saving gifts."
She went on to confirm that she was donating her baby boy's organs, and has since opened up on social media on the 6th of each month about her grief and how she and her family are preserving McCoy's memory.
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